singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
