Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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