I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
