Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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