Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
