***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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