im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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