never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
