Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
