Don't you send me to vm
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
