I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
