Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
