my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
