i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
