i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize