I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
