What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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