i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
