At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
