We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
