I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
