This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize