Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
