What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
