I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
