i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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