doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
