med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think people are normalizing furries
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize