I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
