Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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