Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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