Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
