"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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