found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
