My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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