Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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