i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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