ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
