I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
