It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize