Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
