if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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