You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
