yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
handjob tips. give me some.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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