I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
