I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize