But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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