batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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