I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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