I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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