Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
