grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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