Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
