capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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