nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
