can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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