I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
