This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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