where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
