Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
