Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
