We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
